Night after night.
Her gentle face and warmly expressive voice able to reach the emotional depth of me. Yet in that mood of the moment, she is able to produce uncomfortable void and communicate gut-wrenching truths about life.
I Forget that the world is turning. Some time I even forget to breath in the presence of the gentle voice that I hear.
"I looked into your eyes, they told me plenty..." she tells me before I lay down. Amazed and frighten that she will see the truth of me.
She tells me that "I would be the one to hold you down, kiss you so hard. I’ll take your breath away. And after I’d wipe away the tears, just close your eyes dear."
I was introduce to her by a friend of mine who knew her a few years before. First glance did not produce a big impression. Bad hair-day maybe. But later I get to know her better, to hear her voice, when we're alone...
She tells me about her fear of love, fear of commitment, yet she does not want to look back at her life with regrets. So she decide to live now and tell me...
"I’m so tired but I can’t sleep, standing on the edge of something much too deep. It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word. We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard".
For the many years, I travel around the world and she would accompanied me at every turns. Never leaving my side, no matter how strange the place is. It does not matter that the language is foreign to us. Her words is all I hear at every corners and turns, at every streets and alleyway. A girl who will not leave your side when the heat is on, in her gentle voice she says, "I will stare at the sun until its light doesn't blind me. I will walk into the fire 'til its heat doesn't burn me. And I will feed the fire."
Don't misunderstand her, this toughness is only for her special someone.
She continues about her love, her puppy love, her one-sided love, the kind of love that the other person does not know she existed. Frustration!
She remembered "Oh and every time I’m close to you. There’s too much I can’t say, and you just walk away... I forgot to tell you I love you..."
As nothing happened for so long and frustration builds, she reside to her fantasy... her wonderland. To keep herself entertain in her down-time. Some time she got lost... Forgetting where she is....and when she wakes up...
"I do believe i failed you, i know i let you down, don't you know i tried so hard to love you in my way.....' she tell herself, 'It's easy, let it go!"
As the sound of her voice, her stories, her sorrows reaches down into my spirit and takes over my wandering mind, I vaguely hears ..."I will remember you, will you remember me?..."
I think to myself...
When will the stars allow me to break free from her spellbound?
No matter the future.
I think yes, my dear Sarah... my adia...I will remember..
